Today was just one of those mom days that I wish I could take back. Although I’m not sure what I could really do differently, but my stomach aches with the guilt. Little man has been out of daycare a week due to a work trip that he joined me on for a few days… Continue reading Mom Guilt(y)
Before I became a mom, I was the kind of woman who had a place for everything. I kept a written planner for appointments, bills, life. I never paid anything late. The house stayed neat and organized. I planned holidays months in advance. I did everything months in advance. Lately, J has hit a new… Continue reading Balance
We encountered our first stomach flu this week. Baby J (who is actually not really a baby anymore and just J) woke up on Wednesday fine. We got our day started in preparation for mama to get some work done before we took a short road trip for work for a conference. The nanny was… Continue reading Stomach Flu
I made dinner last night- spaghetti with Italian sausage per my hubby’s request. In a brain lapse, I didn’t brown the sausage with the ground beef before adding the tomato sauce. Instead, I threw the sausage in with the cooked ground beef and tomato sauce and let it boil (almost burn) for over 20 minutes.… Continue reading Raw
I sat in the waiting room of the lab today to get some blood drawn to check my thyroid and other hormones. My moods have been horrible, anxiety through the roof, and just overall feeling miserable. But there was a baby- maybe 2 months old- screaming his head off in the waiting area. They’d tried… Continue reading Dog Done
The last few weeks have been challenging. Baby J has been in the midst of a leap that I think we are maybe finally (don’t jinx it) past. It has been hot as all get out so playing outside is limited to 10-20 minute increments just before sunset and if there’s a breeze. The porch… Continue reading Dog Days of Summer
I’m sitting in the rocking chair where I’ve been imprisoned for over 2 hours with a sleeping baby in my arms. He’s moved around from boob to semi-sitting asleep next to me to sprawled across my lap. He is such a squirmy sleeper. Three-ish feet away sits a beautiful crib laughing at me. With its… Continue reading Oh, Nine Months
But I kept this child fed, alive, and on the mend. I washed the poop covered clothes. I got Mother’s Day cards and gifts for our moms and grandmoms. I healed his diaper rash. I worked on hiring a new staff member. I led a key company roll-out of a new initiative. All the while, super mom, I didn’t take care of myself.
It’s been almost 2 months since I’ve been on thyroid medication. Baby J is almost 8 months old. My body has finally stopped hurting from pregnancy and has now started hurting for unknown reasons (oh the joint pain). Life is flying by and I can’t keep up. I am doing better. I am not 100%.… Continue reading Absentee
Today, I can’t even process. I am existing- breathing- but nothing more. I haven’t gotten dressed. I don’t remember the last time I peed without a baby staring at me. Dinner looks bleak. I feel burdened, drained, empty, chaos, dread, pain. Maybe he’s getting more teeth. Maybe we just had a rough night. Maybe it’s just been a day and the clock will be reset.
Made For This 